Because finding new ways to touch, tease, and pleasure your partner is simply the best, we’re going to clue you in on one lil secret: You should be stimulating your man’s nipples—like, every time you have sex.
Why? Because neglecting your man’s nipples would be a big mistake. Huge! Especially if you want him to experience some fireworks.
In the same way your nipples are probably a super-hot erogenous zone, it’s the same for men. And actually, your guy’s nipples might even be more sensitive than yours since men aren’t used to having them touched—or at least touched as often.
“With males, the nipples serve no other function aside from being an erogenous zone. But everyone is different, and what might feel good to some might hurt, tickle, or irritate others,” says sexologist Carlos Cavazos. “For many males, nipple play is required to achieve orgasm. For others, the pure act of nipple play can bring them to an earth-shattering climax.”
In fact, according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine and National Institutes of Health, 52 percent of men reported that nipple stimulation caused or enhanced their sexual arousal.
Our advice: Use these tips and tricks below to drive your man wild. It works. Really.
1. First, see if he’s interested in nipple play.
As with anything sexual, some people might be into nipple play while others might not be. Sex coach Jenn Gunsaullus, PhD, says an easy way to test the waters is to start by simply stroking his chest playfully. From there, you can ask him how it feels and casually go from there.
2. Ask him what he wants.
Communication is key: “Ask him questions like, ‘How do you want me to touch them?’ and ‘When is the best time to touch your nipples?’ suggests Marla Renee Stewart, sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer. “These questions will help you to get more clarity about what your lover likes and doesn’t like and will help your sexual experience to be a smooth one.”
3. Actively *avoid* the nipples.
Seems counterintuitive, but trust me for a second. “Straddle your partner and run your fingers through his chest area, avoiding the nipples at first,” suggests Cavazos. “Then gently run your fingertips from the top of his chest toward the navel, making sure to come in contact with the nipples. As you continue, bring more attention to his nipples and see how he responds.” The goal here is to tantalize and tease to the point that he’s lowkey aching for you to touch his nips.
4. Try rubbing.
If you’re at a loss for things to do once you actually start playing with his nipples, there are plenty of moves to try out so you’re not just sitting there confused. CalExotics’ resident sexologist Jill McDevitt, PhD, suggests rubbing them first in a circular pattern, then switching directions.
Use your fingertips, your nails, and even your full palms for different intensities. You can also try rubbing back and forth or up and down, varying your speed to see what he responds to. If he’s not used to nipple play, he’s on this journey with you, so don’t be afraid to experiment and have fun. Laughter eases tension and aids in arousal, after all.
5. Lightly use your mouth.
Once you’re interacting with his nipples, try using more than just your fingers for pleasure. Cavazos advises using your mouth to tease the nipples with a light blow to increase their sensitivity before you trace the outline of the nipple with your tongue.
6. Then get a lil more intense with your mouth….
If the whole using your mouth thing is working out, feel free to explore with licking, sucking, and biting, says Cavazos. “Just remember to start slow and build up. You want to build up anticipation, pleasure, and comfort level.”
7. And switch up your technique.
No matter how great something is, repetition can get dull, so try changing up your moves. McDevitt suggests “licking his nipples with a flat ice-cream-cone-licking tongue,” then teasing him by “licking across the whole chest and crossing the nipple as you go.” Not knowing what to expect creates an even greater tension build.
8. Incorporate some dirty talk.
Consider using your lips for other things when you’re licking and playing with his nipples, suggests Stewart. Try talking about fantasies, engaging in some super-passionate kissing, or even humming against his nipples to create a vibrating sensation.
9. Try pinching.
Seriously, try it. If your man is feeling the nipple play, Coltrane Lord, sex and intimacy expert and author of The Kinky Vanilla Love Project: The Sexy Soulful Journey From Betrayal to Bliss, suggests upping the pressure and giving his nips a tweak. Just make sure to check in and see how he feels before, during, and after since the pleasure/pain combo might be new to him.
10. Change the pressure.
Pleasure preferences really vary depending on the person and even the moment, notes Cavazos. “Some men seem to get pleasure from light touch and subtle sucking or flicking with the tongue. Others aren’t as sensitive and need more intense stimulation like pinching or harder sucking,” he says. Mix it up depending on the mood to see what you both like.
11. Use your vibe.
Chances are you have a vibrator or two lying around (if not, please buy one. Please). Experiment with the different settings on his nipples to see what feels good. Best case: He loves it. Worst case: Your vibrator is already out, so, like, might as well use it on yourself. Also, don’t limit yourself to just traditional vibes. Lord suggests whipping out your suction toys and using them on his nipples for a whole other sensation.
12. Try out some ~nipple toys~.
If he seems receptive to the toy idea, why not get a set of nipple clamps to elevate the experience? You’ll obvi want to make sure he’s into the idea, but if so, take it slow and gradually build the intensity. If you don’t feel like buying something, just grab some clothespins and use those to see if you’d be down to get something a lil fancier. Also, pro tip from Lord: “Keep [your toys] in a nice box so it’s sexy—not clinical.”
13. Turn up the heat.
Temperature play is a must-try no matter what area you’re stimulating, and the nipples are very responsive, which makes them especially fun to manipulate with a lil heat. For a hotter vibe, Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven, suggests utilizing some hot wax or warming massage oil/lube. Just make sure to test out the temperature on the sensitive area of their inner wrist before moving to the nipples.
14. Then turn the heat waaay down.
Odds are you already know cold temps make your nips stand up at attention, so use this trick when going at it with your guy. Sexologist Megan Stubbs suggests rubbing an ice cube on his nipple or dripping the cool, melting water on his chest. Sparks notes you can use stainless steel toys for temperature play as well. Take a steel dildo and put it in the freezer or warm water, then rub it on his nipple for some mess-free play.
15. Play around with sensations.
If you’re not ready to drop some coin on new toys (or you don’t want to get anything nipple-y without first seeing if he’s really into it), you can literally just grab some household items to switch things up. Lord suggests using a feather to tickle his nipples, a rubber band to lightly snap the areola, or even the back of a cold spoon to make them erect and ready for further stimulation.
16. Check in often.
It’s always good to keep the lines of communication open to see what your man prefers when it comes to his nipples, says Sparks, so play with different levels of softness and firmness. Certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com Jenni Skyler, PhD, says to start by simply lightly caressing with your finger and tongue. “Ask your man if he wants more, and if yes, move to light biting and scratching,” she advises. If he wants more, pick up the intensity with some harder biting. “Make sure you are always checking in before moving forward.”
Taylor is the former Sex and Relationships editor who can tell you exactly which vibrators are worth the splurge, why you’re still dreaming about your ex, and tips on how to have the best sex of your life (including what word you should spell with your hips during cowgirl sex). You can follow her on Instagram here.
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women's Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she's not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she's likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
