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Here’s what you need to know about Siesta Key: It’s an island paradise in Florida where the water is warm, the beaches are hot, and the people are hotter. And now it’s home to one of the most compelling reality dramas of the year—think Laguna Beach, but with a cast that’s old enough to drink (even though they sometimes shouldn’t).
The new MTV series follows the Key's best and brightest—well, at least in the case of Madisson, who holds a degree in engineering. There’s Alex, a mumbly lothario who’s always chasing girls he can’t have and getting bored once he wins their hearts; Chloe, Alex’s (sometimes) best friend who knows everyone’s secrets; Kelsey, a world-traipsing model who dumped her Prince Charming boyfriend, Garrett, for Alex (only to have her heart broken); the scheming Juliette, who’s dated Alex and is now picking up the pieces with Garrett; Pauly Paul, Alex’s rap star wannabe cousin; and Brandon, an aspiring musician who’s fallen hard for Madisson. Oh, and Madisson used to date Alex, too. Everyone used to date Alex. You haven’t?
The first season of Siesta Key concluded its summer half in October, but it returned with an all-new winter half that premiered on Monday night. Juliette and Garrett’s new relationship is tested, Brandon and Madisson’s situation threatens to fall apart, and two of the show’s new cast members—the manipulative Canvas and delightfully snarky Tarik—make us wonder where they’d been all our lives. With more people, more drama, and more feuding than ever, this new chapter of the show gets intense even before the theme song starts to play.
Cosmo caught up with reality king (and new dad) Spencer Pratt to get his thoughts on the premiere and the high hopes he has for the show, which he believes might become as big as Jersey Shore.
On new cast members Canvas and Tarik:
“I want to know where they found Canvas. Like, what website can you go to and just find mercenary additions for reality shows? Because I want to put my profile on it. I want to know her backstory. She’s from Hawaii? I want to know what island, because I've been to Hawaii and no one is that gangster.
Tarik is amazing, and I believe that Madisson begged him to join the show. I guess he was too cool for the first part of the season and was like, ‘Fine, I'll be on it if you need me, bitch.’ They couldn't be better new additions. The show didn't need life. It wasn't struggling, but they gave the show a guaranteed season two.”
On Alex’s bar fight injury:
“I thought Alex's dad was the producer of this show [Editor’s note: Alex’s dad hired the producers for the show]. He f*cked up big time because his star son got swooped. Alex should have never mentioned that he got punched. He should have just played it even more quiet and gone full Justin Bobby and just whispered at all his girls. I didn’t even know his jaw was wired shut because he sounded the same. And why doesn't he have a bodyguard? I had, like, 10 bodyguards when I was on TV and I wasn't even the rich dude with four girlfriends and a mansion no one was allowed to see the inside of."
On Juliette and Garrett coupling up:
“Juliette is always smiling when she talks about Garrett—that makes me think she's just clowning. I still can't figure her out, which is a good thing, because I think everything is usually fake, and part of me believes that Juliette and Garrett are kind of real for a minute. Don’t get me wrong: I definitely think that Garrett’s still in love with Kelsey, but I do believe that Garrett and Juliette have or were having sex, which to me is amazing.
I have a new theory about Garrett: I think he's been playing the wolf in sheep's clothing all along. I think he's a straight player. I feel like we got conned by him. The guy we thought he was wouldn’t bring Kelsey back to his place—he wouldn’t do that to Juliette.
Side note: I bet he’s charging so much for personal training now that Chloe can’t afford him. That’s why we only ever see them working out on the show."
On whether Kelsey and Garrett were really just “sleeping” when she went home with him:
"Kelsey gave away a major detail and it took me watching the episode for a third time to catch it. She tells everyone, 'I just passed out on the couch.' But at the pool someone says, ‘Oh, I didn't sleep,’ and she says, ‘I didn't sleep at all last night either.’ Whoa! Last night you were supposedly passed out on Garrett's couch. But now you're telling old boy here that you didn't sleep at all last night? Huh. Maybe they were reminiscing about their 'really great friendship.'"
On Brandon’s new music career:
"I love that we got to see a behind-the-scenes of B.G. in the studio because we were all nervous that his mom stopped his music career over the summer. Couldn’t sleep. He should never perform with a shirt on, and he should definitely hire Garrett to be his hype man with no shirt on also."
On Kelsey sending her modeling shots all over the world:
"The quote of the episode was Kelsey saying, 'Can't wait to send these [photos] to New York.' Oh God. Girl, send these to New York? You've been to Tokyo, you've been to Milan. You slumming? Shouldn't these be going to Shanghai? I though your mom was up on Twitter tweeting at Shanghai. You've already been in New York. We already know about your New York tour. We heard. You should be going to Paris."
On how openly everyone’s talking about sex this season:
"It’s the first episode, and we already got Tarik asking about dick sizes. Brandon’s talking about pineapple juice. I felt very shy watching this episode. I think all the sex talk is very hip and trendy. If you're not talking about sex on MTV in 2018 then you're like The Hills. You’re vintage."
On Brandon flirting with Canvas at the Gold Party:
"I think Madisson really is into B.G. Like, she became a fan and is probably listening to his music in the car now. [Watching him flirt with Canvas] blew me away. I think Madisson was in shock. I was in shock. Canvas came out of nowhere and grabbed B.G. that fast."
On Brandon’s “confusion” about Canvas:
"Oh, he's confused? Bro. When I heard that, I was like, Madisson should be a smart enough girl to tell him, 'Let me make things more simple for you: How about we just call an ending right now, and when you're not confused, maybe hit up my phone. Maybe it'll have the same number. Maybe it won't.'
That was a major opportunity where Madisson should have been like, 'I'm too young. I have too much good going for me. I don't need the guy in my life to be confused. You’re confused? Maybe you should go write a song about your confusion, and I’ll tell you how I don’t like it.'"
On Tarik confronting Canvas for flirting with Brandon:
"Why would Tarik go talk to Canvas? Why wouldn't he just talk to B.G.? That would have been a way more action-packed scene. Brandon's the one who's allowing this shit to happen, so why not go have a man-to-man? Instead he got punked out by Canvas ragging on his pink bandana. Tarik already doesn't feel like Brandon is good enough for Madisson, so I would have respected it more if he'd rolled up and told him, 'I already don't like you. I don't think you're good enough for Madisson. And now you've got Canvas all up in your business and you're not telling her to back away and that you have a girlfriend.'"
On Juliette confronting Kelsey and Garrett on the dock:
"I was so upset about that. She made me think that Garrett has just been playing everyone again. Would a nice guy allow Kelsey to come home with him? The only thing is, once again, Juliette walked up smiling. But she walked up with such passion that I believed that, yeah, they may be doing it just for the show, but I don't think she likes looking as if she's just not good enough for these guys again. It’s like, 'Oh my God. I'm not good enough for the guy with the pool house; I am not good enough for the guy who lives in the pool house.' So maybe she doesn't actually like Garrett, but it's like, 'F*ck, I'm on a TV show. I'm the cool girl at my college and I've got all these guys just making me look like shit.'"
On Tarik being into Garrett:
"I am praying that Tarik and Garrett at least have a fling. I feel like that would be so good for Garrett's brand, to be confused like B.G."
On what he’s hoping to see as the episodes ramp up:
"Well, we’re definitely going to watch Madisson snap; we’re going to see Juliette get back together with her sugar daddy; we’re going to watch Pauly put it all on the line to stay on the show. He’s going to have to rob a liquor store with Canvas to do it. Canvas hosing down the chairs at work is definitely a metaphor for the rest of the season. She’s just hosing down these fricking props.
We're also going to watch Chloe solve the Russian interference in the Keys. Why is our government spending millions when we just need to put Chloe on the case? She’s CSI. The C stands for Chloe. I don’t know what the other letters mean."
On keeping the show going for a second season:
"I'm always telling all the cast [via DM] they need to step up their promotion. I keep telling them that they aren’t posting enough on social media about this new season. What’s so funny is: When you’re on a TV show, you feel too cool to promote the show and talk about the premiere date. But when you don't have a TV show, like me—what I wouldn’t give to have a TV show to be talking about on every one of my fricking channels all day long.
It’s just like, 'Hello, hey, hello everyone, I want to continue doing Cosmopolitan reviews about you guys. If you don't tell everyone that follows you the air date, they're not going to tune in.' Stop being coy. Your show is everything, guys. That was a solid comeback episode. I have high hopes for this cast to become Jersey Shore big."
Watch new episodes of Siesta Key Mondays on MTV at 10/9 central.
