1. Bravest, Best, Boldest Statement: Lena Waithe in Carolina Herrera

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Lena is admirably always very much herself on the red carpet, but this took that to a spectacular level. When she was invited to a night built around Catholicism and all but fetishizing its trappings, she used that platform to advocate for the LGBTQ people the religion’s core tenets reject. There were a lot of outfits screaming for attention, and yet Lena’s spoke the loudest of them all.

2. Biggest Migraine: Sarah Jessica Parker in Dolce & Gabbana

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The Met brought with it many headpieces that likely weighed an excruciating ton, so Advil surely was being passed around like candy. But here, Sarah Jessica is sporting what appears to be an entire Church tabernacle on her noggin.

3. Most Underwhelming: Amal Clooney in Richard Quinn

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Richard Quinn is having a big year: He won the very first Queen Elizabeth II Award for British Design and received it directly from the actual Queen herself while she sat flush with glee at his runway show. And now, Amal Clooney gave him a glittering cherry for the sundae by co-hosting the Met Gala wearing his design. It's all very exciting, and yet we wish this look were better. That train is so spectacular, but the pants land with a thud and even look a bit — gasp! — wrinkled. Whatever would Her Majesty say?

4. Most Overwhelming: Katy Perry in Versace

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We hope these wings help Katy actually fly, because she could barely walk in this and looked one hot second away from toppling over into a pile of feathers. We appreciate the fact that she never, ever phones it in, but it’s the second year in a row she’s essentially rendered herself unable to negotiate the venue without putting herself in mortal peril, and that’s a step too far for fashion, even on its most extra night.

5. Most Literally Blinding: Cara Delevingne in Dior

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If Katy Perry couldn't walk in her angel wings, we're not sure how Cara managed to negotiate the Met's notorious staircase given what's covering her face. Her entire self is encaged; is this a sartorial interpretation of the Spanish Inquisition? Because it’s true no one would expect that.

6. Best Crowd-Sourcing: Solange Knowles in Iris van Herpen

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On Twitter Sunday night, Solange asked her followers to help her choose what to wear to the Met. This look didn't win the poll — she actually ended up combining two of the runners-up — but it was the right choice for her anyway: It's beautifully unconventional while still being elegant and unforgettable.

7. Best Joan of Arc: Zendaya in Versace

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We feel sorry for all the other women who decided to go in the sartorial direction of the Maid of Orleans, because their efforts will be judged against Zendaya's and found wanting. Simply put, she looks amazing. We'd follow her into battle any day.

8. Shiniest: Kim Kardashian in Versace

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It might seem strange to say that a completely gold, sequined gown is simple — but please remember that Kim once basically came dressed as a floral armchair to this event, and this, comparatively, is pretty uncomplicated. It's also good. Kimberly was well served by an aesthetic wherein her clothing isn't agitating to steal focus from her face.

9. Best Maternity Wear: Cardi B in Moschino

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In case you wondered what Cardi B would look like if she dressed up as a Renaissance fertility goddess … she and Jeremy Scott have you covered. We're a little concerned that she might not be wholly comfortable, but to borrow a turn of phrase, we're going to let her gestate in peace.

10. Best Dude: Chadwick Boseman in Versace

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If more non-priest men looked like this at Church, maybe we'd go more often.

11. Droopiest: Selena Gomez in Coach

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Per the talking heads at E!, Selena is apparently a fairly devout Christian, which caused some conflicts for her when she was working with Coach to design her gown. While we cannot imagine that Coach's aesthetic was ever going to go into a heretical direction — can bags ever truly offend The Lord? — we also cannot imagine how everyone decided that a wilted nightgown was an exciting compromise.

12. Most Enjoyably Literal: Ariana Grande in Vera Wang

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This is a real step forward for Ariana, who too often gets stuck in a vortex of High Ponytail/Thigh-High boots. Her gown is printed with images from the Sistine Chapel, which admittedly is very direct. But it's beautifully done, and we'll take beautifully direct over the alternative any day.

13. Most Likely Chatting About Meghan Markle: Priyanka Chopra in Ralph Lauren

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OK, so the outfit has nothing to do with the forthcoming royal wedding as far as we know, but Priyanka chats about that subject constantly to the press — as would we, were our friend marrying a prince — and we like to imagine her floating into the Met and announcing that she's pretty sure Meghan's ice sculptures will be more impressive. The good news is that she'll look stunning as she does that, because this headpiece is absolutely glorious on her.

14. Best Attempt at a Different Theme: Blake Lively in Versace

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If this were The Met Gala: Stuff We Found in the Hampton Court Palace Archives, then Blake would be right on the money. Henry VIII would have married her twice for this alone. Sadly, it was not, but we’re sufficiently impressed by the effort that we won’t have her thrown into The Tower.

15. Most Jaw-Dropping: Frances McDormand in Valentino

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Frances McDormand is the person we would have picked to show up dressed as an ascetic nun. Throughout the last awards season, she gave off the vibe of having ZERO time for froofery and furbelows, so it was utterly astonishing to see her pop up at the Met Gala at all. If this wasn’t foretold in the actual Book of Revelations, it may need an addendum.

16. Best Audition for The Sound of Music: Greta Gerwig in The Row

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Speaking of nuns. Personally, we would have solved this problem with a guitar. If you’re going all in on Fraulein Maria, don’t skimp on the props.

17. Coolest: Janelle Monáe in Marc Jacobs

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Does anyone do it better? We’d say that this was like an incredibly chic Sound of Music, except we just used up our one allotted Sound of Music joke. Somehow, “She looks like the most amazing revamp of The Flying Nun” doesn’t quite sing.

18. Most Polarizing Even Within Our Own Heads: Madonna in Jean Paul Gaultier

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We unsecretly wanted Madge to dig deep into her archives and come dressed as her entire "Like A Prayer" video or in full "Like a Virgin" mode. This is still striking, but it’s also literal in a dull way, and the workmanship isn’t particularly arresting — which means that Madonna got outdone by many of her juniors, something that should be illegal on a night whose theme was, essentially, The Early Works of Madonna. So while we want to love it ... sadly, it’s not a sufficiently triumphant next chapter in this legendary pairing. Maybe she choked. Does Madonna choke? Suddenly we’re having a crisis of our own faith.

19. Best Blend of Drama and Elegance: Rita Ora in Prada

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We’d never have called it, but Rita looks divine. That dress is gorgeous and colorful and capped with a headpiece that reportedly took three days to make. Imagine if Madonna had shown up in THIS — it has both the surprise factor and dangerous head spikes.

20. Most Like Any Other Monday: Lana del Rey and Jared Leto in Gucci

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One could argue that Jared Leto is being very literal, dressing both as Jesus and a priest. But Jared dresses like Fancy Jesus Priest to pick up his dry-cleaning; this is wholly business as usual for him. Lana, on the other hand, manages both to look like the side of a religious candle and like the sartorial embodiment of what her music sounds like, all at the same time. It’s almost impressively on-brand.

21. Most Minimal: Zoe Kravitz in Saint Laurent

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Several people at this event employed veils. Zoe is the only one who used one as her dress. With that duly noted, we learned from The Gospel According to Billy Joel that the sinners are much more fun, so ...

22. Most Potentially Controversial for Unexpected Reasons: Scarlett Johansson in Marchesa

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The rumor as we type this is that Scarlett is wearing Marchesa, a.k.a. the label partly funded by disgraced mogul Harvey Weinstein, who's been accused of sexual abuse by dozens of women, and co-founded and designed by his soon-to-be ex-wife Georgina Chapman. As such, conventional wisdom since his fall has pegged Marchesa as wholly radioactive. Scarlett, in fact, is the first A-lister or even C-lister to go there since, to our knowledge, and it is ... a curious choice at best, especially with Lena Waithe out there so elegantly championing social justice. Weirder still, the dress itself doesn’t even evoke the theme, at least not overtly. So why here, why now? What’s the message, Scarlett? Are you preaching forgiveness, or practicing forgetfulness?

23. Most Papal: Rihanna in Margiela

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In the interest of full disclosure: We have nitpicky concerns about the fit and cut here, which seem — once you strip away the ornamentation — similar to styles Rihanna favored all last summer while promoting Valerian. But the beading is undeniably intricate, and she’s absolutely pulling off Pope-chic with aplomb. Simply put, Rihanna is very, very good at embracing the costumey without letting it overshadow her essence. (Seriously, Nicki Minaj once went to the Grammys with a dude dressed AS the Pope, and Rihanna outdid her with one simple tip of her papal tiara.)

And yet, it would be remiss of us not to note, in light of the ongoing discussion about Marchesa, that it’s an intriguing choice to go with Margiela at a religion-themed event, given that head designer John Galliano was once exiled from fashion after going on an anti-Semitic rant. Perhaps this entire night will engender a conversation about penance — after all, what could be more on-theme with the Catholic imagination than that?

Visit the Fug Girls on their website, or follow them on Twitter. Their book, The Royal We, is available here.