Screw Halloween festivities, the reason mid-October is the most wonderful time of the year is because it heralds the release of all the shirtless calendars you ask your parents to buy you for Christmas even though you know they won't because your grandma is there on Christmas Day too and they're like, do you really want to have to open that gift and explain yourself to her, Alex? Here are some socks. OK wow, that went deep real fast let's just look at some hot guys.
Specifically, let's look at some HOT HOT HEAT Australian firefighters, courtesy of this year's Australian Firefighters calendars. They are so hot, in fact, that they probably spend their shifts in the firehouse dousing each other with cold water rather than dousing actual fires (in fact, many of the photos in the 2018 Australian Firefighter calendars show the guys getting hosed down, ywia).
Also, notice the word "calendars," which is plural on purpose because there's not one, not two, but THREE special Australian firefighter calendars available for 2018.
There's the regular 'ogle the hotties' edition, which is nothing to sniff at:
It comes full of photos like this:
And this:
Then there's a special 'ogle the hotties, but with animals' edition, which features KOALA BEARS be still by beating heart:
Which comes full of photos like this:
And this:
And an extra special 'ogle the hotties, but with puppies' edition, and I'm still #TeamCat but I'll make an exception when there are biceps:
Which comes full of photos like this:
And this:
See even more photos from the calendars in Cosmopolitan.com's special gallery:
Over its 25 years of #blessed objectification of the male form, the Australian Firefighters calendar has raised $2.3 million dollars for a range of charities — and in a special fundraiser for the 2018 editions, $1 of every U.S. calendar purchase will be donated to help victims of the California wildfires.
Also, wow, I'm not even done yet because I LIED before, there are actually more than three calendars available — there are SIX in fact! Three more 2018 calendars pay tribute to the fine, fine, finer than fine firefighters of the Australian states of Queensland, Victoria, and New South Wales. Fun fact: New South Wales's initials are NSW, which are only one letter away from NSFW and I legit almost fell off my chair at the prospect of that cal. I'll leave y'all to make the firefighter/hose jokes here, because I have go to... start a small fire... in the office bathroom? Wish me good luck!
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